Overcoming The Fear Of Rejection
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August 22, 2023
Being told "no" can result in different levels of expression to a person, depending on the manner and tone. Sometimes, it can be accompanied by phrases like a softer "I'm sorry" or a much louder "Stop!". Regardless, being is never a pleasurable thing for many of us.
Encountering rejection is a totally normal experience. In terms of finding or building relationships, the fear of this unfortunate event can be prevalent, which can cause more issues later on. The frequency and the timing of getting rejected might lead to trauma. In order to overcome that, it is beneficial to understand it deeply and practice ways that lead to growth.
Why Fear Of Rejection Exists
According to psychologists, the fear of rejection is a result of being too much concerned about the opinion or decision of others. It stems from the basic human need to be socially accepted.
In terms of dating, particularly between heterosexuals, men encounter actual rejection more because they're usually the ones pursuing. If you look at most cultures, it is common for a woman to be courted by many men. And since those cultures practice monogamy, only one guy will be chosen while the others get rejected. Seems typical, right?
The trauma and pain from getting rejected can be engraved into the mindset and thus, the fear will hinder any recovery and optimism. Nevertheless, like all fears, overcoming rejection is not impossible. If one knows how to do so, being rejected can be viewed in a different way.
How To Overcome Fear Of Rejection
One thing's for sure: overcoming fears is a process. In order to get over a state of rejection, the following ways can help you to move on and consider the situation a learning experience.
1. Understanding Rejection
Understanding the source of your fear of rejection is one of the most logical steps in overcoming it. You may have narrowed the reasons why it exists, such as experiencing frequent dismissal of emotions and the amount of negative response received after expression, but it is important to identify the contributing factors.
Next, you have to identify why you got rejected in the first place. Whether the problem lies in your approach or the choice of people you are approaching, it is very helpful to pinpoint it early. Asking for feedback on why you got rejected takes a lot of guts, but if you want yourself to improve, you need to accept criticism.
However, do not mistake your uniqueness as a reason for rejection. If you conclude that you are not the problem, then it has to be your environment. It might be from the unsupportive people around you or the unfortunate circumstance that you are going through. Remember that those things are not your fault.
2. Building A Better Mindset
A resilient mind can do wonders for oneself. You'll never be bothered by any distractions and no obstacles can discourage you. Unfortunately, it takes a lot of experience in order to arrive at that stage. It will be wise to start with small steps.
First, you have to be realistic in setting dating goals. It is very normal to like someone that is out of reach but it doesn't mean that she is already a potential match. Even if you exert unimaginable efforts, note that it is not only your call to be accepted.
Next, take any challenging situation as an opportunity to grow instead of seeing it as a threat to your self-confidence. It sounds easy but it takes constant self-affirmation in order to steel your nerves. You can read some inspiring quotes and make them as reminders to push through.
3. Practice Self-Nurturing Habits
One great practice so that you can gain or recover self-confidence after rejection is expanding your comfort zones. Start with small interactions that pose low risk. From there, you can work on expanding beyond your vulnerabilities and sensitivity.
The more frequently you interact, the more you "thicken your skin". Take it as a sign of gaining emotional and mental strength. It doesn't mean converting an introvert to an extrovert. It is simply discovering things that can help you become numb to rejection.
Another great practice is being mindful always. This means being more observant of non-verbal cues so as to save yourself from getting blatantly rejected. You may misinterpret some cues but it still reduces your high expectations and thus, creates more "emotion cushion" when rejected.
Conclusion
Rejection is a part of life. After all, your decisions and opinions are not the only ones that matter. However, you have to aim for getting acceptance. It will only happen when you overcome your fear of being rejected.
